


I'll beGuilty

by mohinikapuahi



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 21:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happiness is never permanent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll beGuilty

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this in my WIP folder since the end of season one. It was going to be part of a much longer story but sadly it never will be now. Cleaning things out for the new year so maybe it's found a home here.
> 
> Set at the end of season 1.

_Five Weeks Earlier_

His exoneration from charges relating to the murder of Governor Jameson was just the start. His first night out of Halewa, Danny had driven him home and as yet hadn’t left.  
They had talked long into the night. The corners of Steve’s mouth turned up in a semblance of a fond smile as he remembered.

Something was up. Danny was too quiet, too still, and Steve wanted to work out why so he could fix it, but painkillers and a couple of beers had ensured that his brain was too muzzy to sort out his own thoughts, let alone understand Danny’s. He was bone weary, his stab wound throbbed, his head pounded as he yawned wide enough to almost flip the top off his head. He felt like he hadn’t slept for weeks. And he hadn’t, not really, sleeping with one eye open in prison doesn’t really count as rest. 

Danny had preceded him into the house and went straight to the kitchen. Returning with two Longboards, he handed one to Steve, who still stood in the middle of his living room. 

“We need to talk.” He said. “I would rather have you pull my teeth with pliers, but I’m not going to waste anymore time. We’ve wasted too much already.”

“Waste time?” Steve frowned “What are you talking about, Danny?”

“Remember what I told you about Rachel?” Danny grimaced.

“Coming back to Stan?” Steve nodded slowly, this he knew about, he had seen the pain in Danny’s eyes as he had told him.

Danny nodded his head before taking a long pull from the neck of his Longboard. “She wasn’t the only one guilty in this monumental clusterfuck.”

“What do you mean?” Steve frowned.

“I mean, it was a mistake, going to her. She was comfort and familiarity. She was the life I had and thought I wanted back. I thought I needed her. But I was wrong. The night Mattie left I should never have gone to her. I should have followed my first instincts. I should have followed my heart.” Danny sighed sadly, “I should have come to you.”

“What?” Steve’s brow furrowed as he struggled to understand Danny’s words. 

“You’re going to make me say it aren’t you?” Danny swung his beer from his fingers and placed it on the coffee table, before stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“I guess I am because I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Steve took a swig from his beer and put in on the table beside Danny’s.

“I should have come to you because for some heretofore unseen reason, the reason for which is incomprehensible to my formerly straight as a dye self, I might love Rach, but I’m definitely in love with you. God help me.” Danny glanced up at Steve’s face before looking back at the toes of his loafers.

Steve paused, trying to absorb every word that Danny had just spoken. “Heretofore?”

“I’ll request a transfer back to HPD.” Danny sighed, “I won’t bother you , babe, I promise you.”

“What for?” Steve frowned. It had been a long hard day, the neatly stitched hole in his side had started an annoying throbbing, and his brain was starting to beat out the same tune as he struggled to keep up with Danny’s words.

“What for?” Danny ‘s frown deepened, “Steven, this is fucked up enough without you being so obtuse.”

“Danny, I’ve had a bad week, I hurt, I’m tired. I’m sorry if I’m not keeping up...Wait, You love me?” his brow furrowed as his mind finally caught up with Danny’s half of the conversation.

“That’s what I said, Steven.” Danny sighed.

“Took you long enough.” Steve almost yawned in answer as he opened his arms to his partner.

A small smile twisted Danny’s lips as he stepped forward into Steve’s embrace. “I lay bare my heart to you and you yawn. Nice work Steven.”

_Present_

Alone. Five letters that had mapped Steve’s entire life and it wouldn’t ever really change.

The last few weeks had seen him happy, content almost, lulled into what was ultimately a false sense of security. He should have seen it coming. His life had fallen into place too easily. He was happy, his family’s ghosts had almost stopped chasing him. Almost.

One phone call had shattered that happiness.

He watched as Danny paced the living room. His hair ruffled and finger combed, his eyes red rimmed, his phone pressed against his ear as he spoke in hushed, stressed words.  
Steve sat on the sofa watching him, waiting patiently to understand the reason for Danny’s agitation.

He didn’t have to wait for long.

The call had barely ended when Danny’s phone landed on the sofa with so much force it bounced from the seat to clatter onto the floor.

“Well?” Steve asked quietly as he leaned over and picked up Danny’s phone, placing it on the coffee table.

“I’m leaving.” Danny didn’t even look at him as he strode towards the stairs.

Steve sat there for a few moments, his brows furrowed together, pinched with confusion. “What?” he surged to his feet and followed, taking the stairs two at a time to catch up with Danny.

“I said I’m leaving. I’m taking two weeks leave, consider it my notice, I’m moving back to HPD.” 

Danny walked around the room Grace had claimed as her own. Lifting a pink plastic crate from the foot of the bed, Danny spoke angrily as he threw Graces toys and clothing into the cube. “In fact, fuck it, I’ll get a security job somewhere.’

“Danny.” Steve growled, “What is wrong? How the fuck did we go from happy to you cutting me out of your life in the space of one phone call. Who the fuck was on the phone?”

“Rach. She was wrong. Stan isn’t the father. There is only one other option. We’re going to try again.”

“You’re what?” Steve blustered, “What about what we have? What about us?”

“It doesn’t matter. This won’t work.” Danny waved his hands between them wildly, pushing past Steve as he stalked into the main bedroom and started stuffing his belongings into the duffel bag he pulled from under the bed. 

“It doesn’t matter?” Steve’s voice was flat and emotionless as he watched Danny, “don’t I mean anything to you?” 

“What do you think?” Danny glanced at Steve as he moved to the wardrobe and was pulling his ties off of the rack on the door. 

“Danny.” Steve’s voice cracked as he spoke, his eyes stinging. “Talk to me. What the fuck have I done?”

Danny looked up then. “You haven’t done anything.” He took a deep breath, his hands clenching in the shirt he was folding. “It’s me. I have to leave. I can’t keep doing this. I belong with Rachel and Grace.”

“Doing what, Danno?” Steve asked quietly, his arms folded tightly across his chest, his back ramrod straight as he watched Danny throwing his belongings into his bag.  
Danny’s head snapped up, angry blue fire in his eyes. “Don’t you dare call me that!”

“Fine.” Steve growled, “Fuck off. I don’t care. Just leave _Daniel_. But when you’re gone, remember you had a home here. You had me, here. You’re the one running away not me.” Steve left the room and took the stairs two at a time and stalked towards the beach, stripping his clothes as he went, intent only on reaching the water.


End file.
